A little over a year ago I began an incredible journey that radically changed my life. I began my year of serving Bethel College freshman as a Resident Assistant. Saying that it radically changed my life might even be an understatement. I am a more outspoken, more confident, more loving, more grace-giving, more open, and a more genuine person than I was a year ago. It taught me about who I am, how I view the world, and who God is. To say I miss that time in my life is also an understatement.
A little over three weeks ago I began the most crazy and amazing adventure that has completely shifted my life. I began my journey of marriage with my groom. I started the crazy adventure of how to be the best wife that I can be. Without that year of full time ministry serving my Shupe family I would not even begin to know where to start with how to be married. I wouldn't know where to begin being a wife. These past three weeks haven't exactly been as I expected them to be. They've been sort of hard. Actually, really hard. They've been difficult, and most of the time I miss Bethel and Shupe so much that it hurts. As I've been contemplating it more and more, I've realized how much Shupe has prepared me for this moment that I am in. This chapter of life where everything is so uncertain. Without Shupe I wouldn't be able to be the wife that I am (which, I will admit, isn't a very good one yet). Instead of sitting alone in my house mourning the loss of my RA life, I'm finding how to rejoice that I was given the time there that I was. There were better candidates for my job, there were people with much less sin in their lives, there were people who never broke covenant, there were people who deserved it much more than I did. But God saw in His wonderful plan that Shupe was a place that I could thrive, and place that would prepare me. So, He gave it to me.
Maybe this exact moment of marriage isn't easy (no one ever said it would be). Maybe I don't know what I'm doing half the time. Maybe I'm sad and homesick for Bethel most all of the time. But this time is one that I need to cling to, because it's just preparing me for that next step. It's a time full of... time. Time to pray. And meditate on Scripture. To learn about what marriage even is. This time has a purpose, just like my time in Shupe did. It is no less important. Heck, it's more important.
Today I am grateful for a house turning into a home, actual time spent with Hunter, good conversations with his friends, a new lamp, that Brittany is safe and for all encompassing grace.
