being seamus' mama means a lot of things. being his mama means waking up at 5:50 this morning because he decided today he wanted breakfast an hour earlier than normal. being his mama means changing him into his third outfit for the day because he spit up again, which is completely out of the ordinary. it means checking on him before going to bed because you're afraid something might have happened to him since the last time you checked (thirty minutes ago). it means drinking at least two cups of coffee a day. being his mama means getting ready for work takes two hours longer than it ever did before. being his mama means being the slightly mean parent at parties who lets him cry it out for five minutes while everyone else holds and shushes their baby to sleep (if they ever fall asleep). which inevitably means that being his mama comes with a little bit of judgment. being his mama means getting anywhere takes nearly twice the amount of time. being seamus' mama means whipping my boob out when it's time to eat (whether that's in a parking lot, a basketball game, or church).
but, being seamus' mama also means that i get to be the one he smiles most for. it means watching him sleep. being his mama means getting a full night sleep almost every night because he's a freaking fantastic sleeper. being his mama means getting the exact baby i prayed for over and over again (a boy with blue eyes). being his mama means researching everything (one of my favorite past times). being his mama means early morning feedings where it feels like him & i are the only two people alive. being seamus' mama means nurturing, loving, & changing.
being his mama is hard & beautiful. and those things don't have to be mutually exclusive.
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